How to read The Vampiric Essays

While I am unsure as to why I am continually assaulted by someone I can only assume is an actual vampire, I am sure as to his reasoning for making me post his essays online. He wants to help the common man understand that vampires are not sparkly creatures, they are deadly, vicious, violent, murderers. To that end, he has added into his essays several features to aid your comprehension:

• Pro-Tips: I believe that these are included primarily for any sociopaths who read this blog, helping them to accomplish their...goals...as efficiently as possible.

• Labels: The essays are all labeled, according to their content. The labels are fairly self-explanatory, but the extremely stupid will find a full explanation below:
• Anecdote: A short story that is related directly or indirectly to vampiric content
• Announcement: Usually regarding a delay in the week's essay
• Cultural Satire: Cutting commentary of culture, and how it affects/is affected by vampires
• Informative: While all of the essays are informative, these essays contain the raw information a beginner is looking for, and less of the fantastical storytelling element we have come to expect
• Rebuttal: A specific argument against certain rumors about the vampire
• Theory: A discussion that is not based entirely in fact, and thus cannot be declared informative