Sparkling and Mirrors

            I would like to start off by saying, “no.” Just…no.” Vampires do not sparkle. Period. At the same time, we do not burst into flame when the sun touches our skin. The simplest explanation, and therefore the one I will use for my primarily human audience, is that vampires are nocturnal. We are nocturnal primarily because humans are not nocturnal…and that makes feeding easier. Pro-Tip: A sleepy human is a stupid human (Well, stupid-er). Since we therefore are not out in the sun much, we don’t get tan. We also have much slower circulation than humans, so we are very pale naturally. However, we do not burst into flames.

            I really am at a loss as to where this myth came about. People just put two and two together and somehow made five. Also, about the whole “mirror” thing. It’s just simply not true. We can be seen in mirrors. We’re just very good at sneaking up on people. Take a peek in a mirror, no one is there. Check again, and you suddenly notice—BAM!—all your blood is gone!

            That is actually one of my favorite methods to eat-and-run. But if you only remember one thing from this, it should be that vampires do not sparkle. All right? You wouldn’t believe how often I get that question. Ugh, you humans make me sick. Except for when I’m digesting you. How delightfully twisted.