Stefan's Tale Part 1

It has been alerted to me that the humans are celebrating the holidays now, and that my essay this week should be themed accordingly. I resent this idea in theory, but in practicality wish to spread my net of readership as far as possible, so as to spread the truth. Therefore, I will tell you Stefan’s tale.

            It was the winter of 1979, and I was fresh from a vacation to Asia. My parents invited all of us back to the family estate for a clan meeting, and a feast. Well, we were all in attendance. Mother’s feasts were legend, and I had not been alive long enough to witness one, as they occur only every fifty years.

            It is customary to bring a dish to these sorts of events, so I brought a young Chinese girl who was hoping to use me as a ride to America. As soon as what’s-her-name and I entered the manor, Mother whisked her to an upstairs bedroom.

            “An Asian? How wonderful!” She declared when she’d returned to the front hall, where I was hanging up my coat. “That will add the perfect oriental flavor I need.”

“I’m glad that she fits the meal, and I brought you something else as well…” I produced a small glass vial, and held aloft the container of a most precious liquid. Her eyes grew large, and her fangs involuntarily shot out.

“Soy sauce.” She breathed. “You are so considerate, my son.”

My obligations fulfilled, I presented myself in Father’s study to give him a report on my region, which was at that time the mid-western United States. After we discussed my report, he deemed it suitable for presentation and released me.

Upon entering the communal lounge, I was greeted by a chorus of happy voices. My five siblings where there, happily playing a card game. Stefan stood and greeted me, a mocking tone in his voice.

“Ah, little brother, it has been too long.”

“Yes, brother, it has been quite some time since we were last together. I had the misfortune of not seeing you while I was vacationing in your territory, but I did manage to enjoy myself nonetheless.”

You will notice reader, that my vocabulary and speaking style are at their highest level when conversing with my family. I was created last, and in 1979 my parents had not yet created another child. As such, I was considered the “baby” of the family.

At this point in time, you probably require a crash course in my family. My oldest brother is Scott, the most boring person in the entire world. Stefan is next oldest, being only a few years younger than Scott. Next is Diane, my oldest sister, and then Patrick. Selena is the closest to my age, having moved out of the manor only a year after I moved in. Patrick currently lives in Ireland, and spends a lot of time with Mother and Father. Diane prowls the streets of London, but isn't as social as Patrick is. Selena hunts throughout France, and Scott focuses primarily in Germany. Stefan used to live in the old soviet states, but now we’re not really sure where the Hell he is. Yes, I’m getting to that. Be patient.

Anyway we were all excited because a winter solstice feast like this only happens every fifty years, so neither me nor Selena had been to one (Although no one was teasing Selena about that). The others entertained themselves by laughing at me and talking about the feast. I ignored their jibes, Because I knew something they didn't. (To be continued.)